Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Redemption

Ah, it's been a while.
Luke Nation don't fear. I'm alive and well.
Christmas was good. Went to Denver, saw the family, got some presents and went to a musical. I know you're all saying "Musical? What a fag."
Well I enjoyed the "Jersey Boys." It was about Franki Valli and the Four Seasons ("You're just too good to be true, I can't take my eyes off of you"). SO that was fun. I think my goal is to go to another Broadway style play in the next six months. We're always reshaping and refining stuff. A little culture can't hurt.

What else. It's New Year's Eve and I'm not huge on resolutions or anything like that. But looking back it's been an interesting and trying year. One of huge embarrassing failures, mighty triumphs, heartbreak, success and one that's leading its way to possible redemption.

The weird year closed out with talking to a good friend I hadn't talked with in months, receiving a note from an unlikely source, got advice from complete strangers, gave advice to an old friends and realized a lot about myself.

As much as certain portions of the year were great (February-August) and as much as certain portions sucked (September-November) I learned quite a bit this year. It wasn't always fun, but I think this was a year where I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about life. I by no means an expert, but I think I have a better understanding of who I am, what I want and who I want in my life.

Other things to note of on this fine New Year's Eve:
Got an informal job offer a couple days ago. The position wouldn't be open for at least four months, but it's an option in a field that is very intriguing. Not sure I'd take the job or if I'd be willing to go where it's at, but it's certainly an option. It's exciting though.
Things are finally falling into place. Turns out my life philosophy of being good to people (how I got the job offer), trying to make the right decisions and trying to be a good person is working. It's nice when that happens.

Blockbuster sucks donkey scrotum. They are 0-3 on Luke instant classics. First the didn't have Uncle Buck. Then they don't have What About Bob. Finally they were missing The Deer Hunter. I'm done with that crap store. Really I am. On the plus side The Deer Hunter just arrived in the mail and I'm going to watch the shit out of it.

Not a whole lot else new in my realm. Taking things pretty easy. Besides a trip to Vegas at the end of February for a bachelor party I don't have a lot planned.

Hope the New Year treats everyone well. Or at least national hangover day isn't too bad.

Penn State over USC
Texas absolutely murders Ohio State
Oklahoma puts 60 up on Florida. Screw the SEC

Luke out.


HEF of the Week
At brunch with my family on Christmas. The waiter — a beady eyed, pimply faced senior in high school — asks if I want more coffee. I said yes, the gent pours me a cup then asks "Would your wife like some too." He thought my mother was my wife. My brother, my mother and my father continued to bust my chops the whole day about it. Essentially Christmas wasn't as much about giving as it was cracking my eggs for 15 fucking hours. Nice. Nice. Gneiss.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Uproariously cockblocked and pussied out a few times

Interesting things for interesting people.

Just back from vacation. Vacations always serve a purpose, but getting back sucks. Vacation was sweet.
Wednesday and Thursday hung out with my buddy Ty and his old lady. Ty's the shit. He's a good guy that has a pretty good head on him most of the time. Plus he's a blast to hang out with. We met my other friend Alexis on Wednesday and went out to a couple bars. Both had live music and I love the shit out of live music. Wednesday was a blast as Alexis and Ty are both good people to hang out with. Luckily we didn't drink too much or else absolute craziness may have ensued.
Flew out to San Diego on Friday. That day, we pretty much hung out before my buddy Dave came down from San Clemente. We had dinner and drinks down by the beach, before heading back to my other buddies place.
Dave's doing good. Sounds like the job is perfect for him and as expected he's surfing his tits off. Sounds like his office is the shit and how could it not be when it contains magazines about Moutain Biking, kayaking, skiing and surfing. Broha to the max bro.

Saturday played some golf in December (that's so sweet to say). Went to the sickest piano bar of my life on Saturday night. Got real looped up and had a freaking blast. Sunday we had a little breakfast, watched some football and took it easy. Monday I was back. It was nice stepping out of the airport to - 10 degree weather. Ah Colorado.
Didn't get to meet Kev's new lady friend, but I'm sure there will time for that when I'm making a complete ass of myself at their wedding that Kev informed me I'm not invited to. Asshole. Of course he was just busting chops, but that was probably the best part of being back there was just seeing my buddies and busting the shit out of each others chops. Probably the thing I miss the most.

Anyway. It sucked getting back and going to work, but what the hell.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately and vacation helped to clear those things up. Essentially a lot of the questions I had before vacation weren't totally cleared up but I have a better gauge of things.
I've made myself a few promises and set a few goals for the next few months. That should be good.
One of the biggest things I discovered was that I beat myself up too much for things I can't control. That I'm more mad at myself for caring about things I really shouldn't care about. Hell it's a work in progress and I'm a work in progress.

On the work front, i think it's becoming time to think/decide whether it's best to get out of the newspaper business. Newspapers are getting killed slowly. They're like prisoners of their own captures. Essentially it breaks down like this. Jobs are being lost across the country. Profits are down, advertising is down and papers are having to make tough decisions. The Rocky Mountain News is for sale with the real potential they'll be out of business by February. The Tribune Company filed for bankruptcy. The Detroit papers are only delivering a couple days a week.
It's gross. But there will always be a need for journalists on some scale, no matter what it is. It's at the point where I'm still young enough to look at other opportunities. But I actually don't mind what I do and could see myself doing it for a long time.
It's just a matter of deciding what I want to do. That's a big thing to decide, but we'll see what happens.
I have some things in the works, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully one of the many things and people I've talked to out there come through.

Besides I'm already big time. Two things I've wanted since I started have both happened. One was seeing my articles in a sports bars bathroom above the urinals. Not sure why, but I feel like this cemented it for me. Plus I just got invited to talk to a bunch of high school students about journalism and sports journalism in January. Nothing like Dubby out there shaping and distorting the minds of tomorrow.

Sports:
I don't know what to think about the Bills anymore. Dick "I sit when I pee" Jauron just signed a 3-year extension. Not bad for a guy that in nine NFL seasons as a head man has one winning season.
How bout them Yankees. As I explained to Kev earlier it's like this. Baseball needs to do something quick. Baseball is like a bunch of guys going to get hookers. The one guy has a ton of money (Yankees) gets the best looking hookers and makes everybody mad. Except for a few of the other guys (Red Sox, Dodgers, Angels, Mets) most everybody else (Rockies, Rays, Twins, Marlins) get stuck with bottom barrel hookers. Every once in a while the bottom barrel guys gets a hooker that's an absolute freak, but that freak then cleans herself up gets a new dress and the Yankees guy buys her. In the Rays case, they stayed away from the hookers, married their high school sweetheart and made it to the world series. Unfortunatley that high school sweetheart will soon turn into a Yankees hooker.
I hope that makes sense.

HEF of the Week
Met a nice girl at the airport on Monday. She was a stone cold fox. She was from Germany and studying in Denver. Anyway we get to talking and I realize she's super, super hot. Well we're going to the same parking lot. I dig her style and everything. We're on the bus to the parking lot, bullshitting about stuff, when I notice where here tights and boots seperate lie the hairiest legs I've ever seen. Just beast like. I wasn't sure how to take it. I mean judging from her legs, her back could have been hairy. Nevertheless, she was totally sweet and I may hit her up next time I'm in town.

Until then, Pimps up.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Bad decisions, Santa and a bottle of whiskey

I started writing last night and this sounded pretty down.

I’m not going to lie, the spirits are currently low. I guess I am trying to figure out why I continue to make bad decisions and affect people around me.
I’ve always considered myself a good guy that tries to do the right thing and be good to people. Some of my recent actions probably haven’t followed that.
I suppose it sort of comes down to a couple of things. The first being that I continue to wonder if I am actually a good guy, but just make bad decisions. Or if that’s a false pretense. The other is I’ve always thought I’m a strong person. But I’ve let a lot of stuff really get to me lately. It’s stuff that I’d usually just let slide by. But for some reason I keep holding onto things, things I can’t change or that shouldn’t affect me.
Plus I wonder why I continue to care about things. Maybe it's just my nature. I care so much about things and people I just want things to be right. But let's be honest, things aren't always right.

I decided this morning that I am a good guy and that I will continue to try to do the right thing and continue to be good to people. When I'm surveying things, I've ran into multiple people in the last year — some new acquaintances and some long standing — that I for the most part have been good to. In the end, these people have done some shitty things to me.
But I continue to care about them, despite being hurt by one or more of their actions.

Looking back, I may have had one long standing friendship end because of this. That hurts.

I'm going to take all the personal accountability with this. In other words, I'm finding why it's my fault and I'm changing that. Even if it doesn't do anything to repair relationships. I'm more worried about myself anyway.
I read something interesting the other day.
It went along the lines of 95 % of failure accompanies an excuse. I'm done making excuses. Sure, people haven't necessarily treated me well — no one can expect people to always treat them well — but part of it has to rest with me.

I guess the big question I've been pondering is “what in the hell am I doing and what in god’s name is wrong with me?”
I really haven’t felt like this since I had a little slip up my freshman year that landed me in the sin bin. I reavaluted things, but at that time I was 19 and expected to make mistakes. After evaluating things, I've realized I'm not a bad person at all. In fact I have a lot of thing going for me.
One thing I've truly believed in is if you're good to people and continue to be good to people, then things eventually work out. So no matter what happens, I think I'll stick to it.

If that doesn't work, I guess I could just become a huge dick and be mean. So that could be the backup plan.

Anyway the holiday party was a HEF. Many, many Hef’s encapsulated into a wild and crazy night.
I’ll keep it short.
Me and the roomey’s rented costumes. I was Santa, Gee was an Elf and Stensland was a reindeer. Everyone else at the party was dressed in real nice clothes. So Spenny and I did a power hour before the party. Real bad idea. Power hour never leads to anything good.
Get to the party, I get real, real looped. Tell a joke that offends the whole party, rock out.
Go to the bar, have a couple of conversations that didn’t need to be had. Think I told a girl I know that I really like her, to no response.
Go home, then go to my friends place for some hot tubbing. Don’t make the hot tub. Have the awkward conversation for the umpteenth time with Ms. B. I was so drunk I don’t remember what was said for the umpteenth time. Then walk five miles home at 4 a.m. The conversation seems to never go anywhere, so I’m hoping to not have it again. But again, I continue to make bad decisions.
Monday was a waste of a day. Tuesday at work, everyone was looking at me weird. Like I offended everyone. I was still really hungover on Tuesday. Which was nice, since I hosted the morning show and covered stuff all day. This means I was at work at 6:30 a.m. and didn’t finish until 10:30 p.m. 16 hour day.
At work I just felt horrible all day. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I was actually depressed all day. Then find out one of my good buddies from work is leaving at the end of this month. It’s a great opportunity for him, but that’s one more of my people leaving me.

But now that that's over, it's vacation time the PB Boys. It should be good to help put things in perspective. Plus I need to get out of Steamboat for more than one reason right now. I think it will be good. In fact I know it will.

HEF of the Week
I said I told a joke that offended the whole place. Well here it is. Mind you I'm at a Christmas party dressed as Santa.
"What did Jesus say when he was on top of the cross?" "Hell of a view from up here."

The place went silent. Dead silent besides one guy.

You stay Classy Graham.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The drop step

Oh the fantastic thing known as winter sports. It's probably the most busy season of the year for me at work. It really hit me at the beginning of this week when I finally gazed at a schedule. Ugh. It's going to be a long, long, long winter at work. If judging by past few seasons is any indication, I'll be doing a whole hell of a lot of work. This will lead to a good deal of stress and make me want to break something by early February.

Luckily in February I should have an epic weekend in Vegas for a buddy's bachelor party. Luke and Vegas are dangerous things. I get into Nevada and turn into a different person. I don't know what it is, but Vegas brings out the inner beast. This bachelor party should amp that up a little. This means I could die, end up in jail or gain employment with the Mexicans flipping the naked girl cards up and down the strip. Plus this will be my first trip back to Vegas since they closed my beloved Klondike Casino. For reference it's the one in Vegas Vacation where Cousin Eddy and Clark go to play "Pick a number between 1 and 10." They didn't actually play those games there but they did have $1 blackjack, 10 cent roullette, $2 prime rib and waitresses that would bring you another beer as soon as the last drop from the previous one hit your lips.

Needless to say, I was thrown out of the Klondike not once but twice on my last visit. I also had a hooker steal my chips and may have shared a beer with the herpes faced monster. Like I said, Luke and Vegas don't go together so well.

Work has been weird the last couple of weeks and frankly I'm set for a break. A lot of things have contributed to it, but thinking about it frustrates me and I'm pretty much over being frustrated. I have a vacation planned for the end of the week. I'm heading back out to San Diego on Friday. It's a ticket I booked like six months ago and couldn't change or cancel. Not a big deal to me. I am going to hopefully talk to a few places of employment I've seeked out. Plus I'll probably rock out at least twice, play golf and see a couple of good buddies.

That's one thing I really miss is my good buddies. It seems like I don't have that many in Colorado now and that everyone is so spread out. I have one good buddy still in Colorado, but that's a long story. Needless to say we don't talk much anymore and I'm not sure why.

It's been pretty low key in the SBT for the big Luke Bowskie. I get my skis Sunday. Monday I'll get some new boots and be ready for Tuesday. Trying to get a group together to rock out on Wednesday night in Denver but we'll see how that goes. Could get interesting. Real interesting.

The weekend was pretty laid back in terms of utter rocking. The week was fairly stressful for a plethora of reasons.

Either way I've got the holiday party tomorrow which will be OK I guess. I've got a ton of shit to take care of before I leave so it I'll continue to get busy.

Sports:
The Bills play in Toronto Sunday and it's a reality slap in the face. When the current owner dies, it's probable the Bills will move to Toronto or somewhere else. Good old Jim Kelly is trying to put together a group to buy the Bills. I'm not even going to say what I'll do if the Bills move. I thought about it the other day for a while and came to the conclusion that would be it for me and the NFL. Maybe even sports. I don't even want to think about it.

HEF Of the Week
Friday was a doozy. Alarm goes off, I get up stub the shit out of my toe, wheel around in pain, nearly fall over before catching myself with my face on my closet door. So I grab my work computer start to head upstairs when I trip on my roommates shoes. The computer goes flying through the air. It was NFL Films replay style slow motion. Unfortunatley the soundtrack in my head wasn't as good. Anyway the computer is spinning around like a freaking boomerang before crashing on the tile. I sit there for a second pick it up and the back left side is bashed in. After some slight modifications to get it to charge it's fine. At least for now. Unfortunatley it doesn't close real well and I can see inside it. This will be a fun one to explain when it starts on fire all abrupt and shit.

Until next time. When it rains it pours. But after it pours it always shines (i'm a fucking poet baby).
Pimps up

Monday, December 1, 2008

Interesting things

My buddy posed an interesting question the other night.

If there was something in your life you wanted so much, could you have it? I mean if you devoted everything, all your time and all your resources could you get it? It's interesting. He used it in terms of women (Hillary Duff of all broads) but I was thinking more about it. I think it's something that you could associate with everything.

Regardless, it will probably be something I ponder from time to time.

Onto the Ole' life.

Been a fairly interesting week.
Monday was interesting, weird and fun.
Tuesday was the start of the work week so it wasn't great but I was able to work ahead.
The rest of the holiday week was pretty laid back. Me and the Geenis did Thanksgiving at Jill's. The food was delicious. Not a whole lot else happened. Went out a couple times with minimal HEF's. Met a rando on Friday night. He initially seemed off and real weird. Turns out the dude was totally sweet. Watched Donnie Darko and a couple others. My friend Melinda came back to town for the holiday and it was certainly good to see her. It was just a lot of "old man" hanging out.

Watched Four Christmases. It wasn't horrible and it wasn't great, but it certainly got me in the holiday mood.

As I've mentioned I've still been reading this book called Everyday Survival. With the holiday and everybody bustling around I haven't had a whole lot of time for reading. Anyways, it poses the question of why we make the decisions we do. It's got me thinking a lot about why we do make our decisions. I'm not totally sure and will probably never be, but the book does explain why we do some things. Check it out if you get a chance.

Other than that things are going pretty well. Think I'm getting a better handle on things and am understanding, or at least thinking more about, what my next step is.

Got some new skis which are totally sweet. Only problem is I have to get some new boots. It's OK, however, as the skis are really sweet. Looking forward to the first turns. Used to love skiing, got sick of it, went a couple times and I get the itch. Heck for all I know, and with the way I am making decisions, I may be a ski bum in Telluride at this time next year.

Onto sports.

CU kills me. Plus I watched the game with a bunch of Nebraska fans. So the game doubly hurt. The Bills are done and we're 1-5 with the Paul Posluszny jersey. I may have to burn the son of a bitch. Unfortunately for both teams I get to mutter that stupid five word sentence. "There is always next year."
Since nobody likes hockey we won't bring up the Sabres shortcomings.

HEF of the Week
Was at the high school on Saturday. Not looking for a date to prom but working on a story. Anyway, I'm talking all this trash to the parents waiting for their kids to come out of the locker room about how much I know about sports. I mean they'd ask me about something and I'd reel off some beautiful gems. So I'm rolling, it comes to two guys I know that like Oklahoma State. I, in my moment of glory, say I'll give you 21 and the Cowboys. Horrible bet. Luke's out $50 and is broke as it is. Thanks for winning by 20 Oklahoma. Thanks a lot.